Would like to stop the complaints? To have a way to deal with nagging and moaning in your business? To have less frustrating moments in the day?
Read on, and try these tools today, to be more free and in control of your daily life.
You are a busy person, a business owner, an executive, with a partner in your life.
They probably complain from time to time that you are too busy, maybe also about things that they wanted to do together or even for you to do weeks or months ago.
This will work with your life and business partners alike.
All of this is about expectations and balance
I teach my clients that everything is about balance.
You may not have the time to do small repairs around the house or to drive your partner or your kids like a cab all weekend. Their expectations are not met and complaints are the results.
What if you suggested a family movie night just after saying you can't drive them places this weekend?
What if you offered another dinner out - just you and your partner once a month or once every few weeks to your existing routines? A special one to thank them for all their patience.
If meals are not your things, come up with another idea of something you will both enjoy as you are a stressed and busy business owner and need a break and a treat sometimes too.
They complain and you thank them for their patience
This doesn't have to make sense to you, but it really works! Our loved ones need attention and appreciation and we sometimes get too busy to give them that, in the way they want it.
They ask you to do things around the house because they are used to them working or want a change. The reality is that they get frustrated that you are not there when it is happening to them or maybe even that it is not happening to you - when the drawer front falls off, when the dishwasher leaks or when they want more space for photos.
Those are just some common examples, and the whole point is for you to be able to relate to the things your partner complains about, and when you haven't done what they asked, you have the opportunity to thank them for their patience.
Explain that you are working on something fascinating, as we all sometimes get lost in projects in construction, in manufacturing, in property or in coaching, and tell them you appreciate them giving you the time to deal with it.
What started it - search your memory
I'm a big fan of saying to my friends and my partner that it is not all about them. Sometimes I will say it to a client to make them laugh in and to distract them. If we were having a friendly chat and you told me about your partner's complaints, that's exactly what I would say to you.
Think big picture - when did it start?
When a plan you had together fell apart.
When a crisis hit and lasted a while before you solved it.
When they were stressed and needed you there more than you could be.
When you remember when it started, it is worth sitting down and having a chat about how you both changed over time and get to know each other again. Just give it a try, and if it doesn't work you can always try something else.
Choose your words differently to get out of routine arguments
Words ALWAYS and NEVER are not productive, so stop using them!!!
Once you stop, your partner will be grateful when they stop hearing it, then after a few weeks you can explain that you don't use them anymore as they just keep you both stuck, and ask them to try and do the same.
Another small change that may have a huge impact is not assigning blame. What if you didn't say it next few times. What if you asked them not to say it to you. What if you explain why and they don't listen? What do you do then? Do you give up or do you try again a different way?
How many days/weeks do you give a baby to learn how to walk before you give up and decide they never will?
See what I mean about never?
I heard that from Tony Robbins years ago and it makes perfect sense to me - we don't give up.
So how many time will you try to help your partner understand you better before you give up?
And what does giving up mean. Is complaining really worth ending a relationship?
Maybe you both need to show each more appreciation, maybe you both need more respect, all I am saying is that if you start with you you may get there faster and easier. And I am also saying that you have the time for this no matter how busy, because you are already doing it.
Try these few tips and tools and see the difference. It may not be much and it may change your whole life. What I am saying to you, is that if you don't try you will never know!